Books

Hello, hello. I got a lot of positive response from my previous book review post, so figured I should let you all know what I have read since then. I'm not necessarily proud that I spent hours reading some of the books listed below, but cut me some slack, I don't have a TV. I'm allowed to read for mind-numbing amusement sometimes.

How Did You Get this Number by Sloane Crosby

This is the second book by the brilliant author of I was Told there'd be Cake, which I wrote about previously. I thought this was only slightly less amusing than the first, (perhaps it was just the novelty of this hilarious writer wearing off) but definitely still great. Sloane recounts stories from her childhood, to life as a 20-something in NYC with descriptions so vivid you will feel like it was you...who was doing an illegal furniture trade in a dark alley of Manhattan with a mysterious man who you met at Design within Reach? Really, funny.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands by Chelsea Handler

This is where the aforementioned note about not judging my junk reading comes into play. I had always wanted to read this book when I saw it on display in the airport book stores, but I was too embarrassed to be carrying it around, risking that a co-worker or elder might see me (or hear me laughing) and look over to see me reading about *gasp* one night stands! Well, that is the glory of the kindle, my friends- no one knows what you're reading! So I downloaded this sucker and plowed through it. It is, as titled, a bizarre and truly unbelievable--not as in "amazing" unbelievable, but as in "I'm really not sure if I believe you" unbelievable-- collection of one night stands. Whether true or not, they are laugh out loud funny, and I quickly hit download on her next title.

Are You There, Vodka? It's me Chelsea by Chelsea Handler

This didn't differ all that much from the first book, and honestly I can't remember which stories were from which book at this point. Despite the adult-only titles, Chelsea writes a fair amount about her childhood: from walking in on her parents, to the missteps of her embarrassingly nerdy father, and stories of trying to fit-in with the cool kids. After finishing this in a day, I read....

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang by Chelsea Handler

This is the most recent of Chelsea's books and so recounts more recent stories from her life. The book takes place when she already has 'made it' (she has a show apparently? yes, I don't have a TV). It contains some pretty funny stories of the ridiculousness of the LA scene, and how much she seems to torment her long-term live in boyfriend. Mostly it made me feel bad for him. And laugh a lot. Luckily she doesn't have any more books so I was forced to return to more intellectual reading.

The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss

Appropriately, I decided to download this on my way to Mexico which marked the start of my time off from work, in search of new work. It's a best-seller, but honestly I think it's a little shallow. While there are some lessons to be learned from this guy about how to maximize efficiency in life and in work, I think his overall proposal was weak. Basically he thinks that everyone should create some sort of online business in which they can set up to function almost completely without their supervision, but by which they can rake in buckets of money monthly to spend on travel and fun. Sounds nice, huh? He uses himself as a model-- he managed to set up a very lucrative online vitamin business. I think he over-simplifies the ease of doing such a thing, assuming unrealistic demand and success. Furthermore, he makes the assumption that to all of us, this would be satisfying. This part bothered more more than the simplification-- the idea that no one would actually derive pleasure or satisfaction from his/her job, or life's work and that everyone should work on minimizing their time working. It is the complete opposite of the more popular concept of finding a passion that can be your work, or work that ignites your passion. In any case, interesting read, if for no other reason than for suggesting that everyone hire a remote personal assistant in India. I'm looking into it.

Breaking Night by Liz Murray

If you're going to read one book from this list, read this. In fact, if you're going to read one book all year, read this. This is an incredible memoir of a girl who was born to two drug addicted parents in the Bronx. She lives with them through her middle school years, as they spend their welfare checks on coke, and she scrounges for food on the street, sometimes resorting to eating ice cubes because chewing makes her think she's eating. Despite the clear abuse of her addicted parents, Liz tells her story without distaste or anger towards them, which leaves the reader feeling compassionate towards the whole family. After her mother's mental illness causes her to be taken to a hospital, and she ends up living with her mother's abusive boyfriend and finally runs away, spending almost two years sleeping in the subway and on friends' couches. She misses all of her first two years of high school, but at the age of 16, after her mother dies of AIDS, and Liz feels she's about to hit rock bottom, Liz comes to the realization that she wants to turn her life around. She begins applying to alternative high schools and eventually gets in, impressively finishes in two years, and wins a NYT Scholarship to Harvard. This story is real, and it is one of the most unbelievable testaments to the will of the human spirit. It's beautifully written, humbling, heartbreaking and inspirational. MUST READ.

Bossypants by Tina Fey

As you've probably read in every liberal publication, Tina Fey wrote a book. And, no surprise, it's funny. My experience of this book was definitely influenced by the fact that Lauren and I read it aloud to each other in Mexico, while lounging in on the beach, or while listening to the waves as we fell asleep. I'm pretty sure I would enjoy it anywhere, but in that setting, it was pretty much heaven. I enjoyed the first half more than the second-- her stories of her childhood and post-college days of "making it" as a comedian and actress are hilarious, and as is the story of a cruise ship fire on her honeymoon (confirming my commitment to lifelong avoidance of cruise ships). Read it.

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

I'm embarrassed that I started reading this, and even more embarrassed that I finished it. This is the first of a series (but the last that I'll read of it) set in a futuristic world where teens from each state are chosen for an annual survival test called the Hunger Games, where they fight to kill each other off while living inside some sort of life-sized terrarium controlled by the game makers. Now I know I'm not one for fantasy, but if I'm going to read it, I'd at least like it to be vivid and well-written. I was as disturbed by the attack of the larger than life foxes as I was by the horrible writing quality. Apparently after the whole Eclipse saga swept the nation, teen lit is now completely socially acceptable for not-so-young adult readers. Verdict: I'd rather read Judy Blume.

Rekindling my Love of Reading

Ever since I got my Kindle in the fall, it's become my favorite device of the dozens of digital goodies that can be found in my apt or bag. Not only is the Kindle the cutest little thing in the world, but it's often smaller, lighter and and more versatile than its paper and cardboard book counterparts. Plus if you are someone that likes to read more than one thing at a time, or is tearing through books at the speed of light, this device will change your life because you can buy new books at the snap of a finger and access dozens of them all at once.

The best feature is that you can keep up with your reading even if you forget your Kindle, using the iphone or Android app. So if I'm in the subway and can't even access my email, I can still get ahead in my book-- and it auto-syncs with the kindle so I just pick up where I left of. Rad.

Ok, enough of the Kindle love-fest. And no, Amazon did not pay me for this promotion...though they should. The real purpose of this post was to tell you about my favorite books of the year so far. Here's what I've read:

The Help, by Kathryn Stockett

This was the first novel that I have read in probably a year, and I was pleasantly surprised to find out how much I enjoyed a novel! If you are a frequent novel reader (and a female), you've probably read this already, but if you haven't, buy it, read it, love it. It's a page turner (or in the words of R. Kelly, "a cliff hanga"), with a very compelling plot about racial relations in the south in the 50s, and a very lovable cast of female characters.

Delivering Happiness: A Path to Profits, Passion and Purpose, by Toni Hsieh

The story of the man who started Zappos, this book is not as impeccably written as some other of the business books I've read, but Tony's exciting story through the ups and downs of starting, selling, funding and running tech companies kept me reading. Lots of lessons to be heard about entrepreneurialism...and of course, many interesting anecdotes about Zappos.

Making Ideas Happen: Overcoming the Obstacles Between Vision and Reality, by Scott Belsky

Unlike, Delivering Happiness, this book takes the more traditional business book approach of stating and explaining best practices about business behavior, through research and examples from experts and example companies. I felt it was lacking a true point of view, and subsequently repeated itself often, hammering home somewhat obvious efficiency techniques for successful teams and businesses. Verdict: Eh, skip it.

The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin

This is hands down my favorite book of the year. It may sound cheesy, and I must admit it holds the same sort of stigma as Eat, Pray, Love (which after getting over it, I finally read last year...and loved), but this book is great. This is the story of a very successful woman, in a happy relationship, with two great kids and a great job, who simply decides that she is not as happy as she wants to be. She takes the self-aware approach to focus on happiness for a year-- making resolutions to promote her happiness, reading and researching the history and schools of thought around happiness, and ultimately discovering that we are all in charge of our own destiny and can chose whether to be happy! This is not a desperate woman attempting to make herself happy-- this is a busy New Yorker who is sick of being always in a rush, unappreciative or feeling that her mood is not within her control. I highlighted and note-took all over this book (yes, you can do that electronically with the kindle!) and caught myself making changes to my behavior based on the things I'd read. I even did a massive kitchen clean and reorganization which was one of the most satisfying Saturday's I've had in forever. Read it.

I Was Told There'd Be Cake, by Sloane Crosley

Recommended by a co-worker as a fun read, I've since recommended it to everyone who wants to be entertained on a vacation, plane, or just wants some light-hearted reading before bed. It's a collection of true(?) short stories about a Westchester native and 20 something Manhattanite, told with a heavy dose of sarcasm, self-deprecation and wit. From stories about locking herself out twice in one day (sounds familiar doesn't it?), to serving as a bride's maid (and yes, that spelling is intentional: this job is equal to that of a household maid/slave), the writing style is hilarious, and I found myself literally laughing out loud on the subway. The only disappointment was finishing it; and with that, I pressed "order" on my kindle and purchased her second book, How Did You Get this Number, which I'm currently plowing through.

Birthday Becca

She's so excited. Really.

I'm thrilled to be celebrating the 25th Anniversary of NOT being an only child today! Yes, that's right, my not-so-little sister has reached the peak of her mid twenties. The good news is, I'm still a hair taller. And no one can tell who's older. Well I wish I could do what they do in Katroo.... but since I can't, I'm taking the train to Philly for a delicious dinner with the birthday girl and cousin Alex. And here's to hoping the Birthday Bird shows up in Newton next week!

Everyone Needs a Nudge

I just finished book #1 of my vacation reading list: Nudge by Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein. Overall, I liked the book a lot. The concept is basically that by public and private organizations who exercise libertarian paternalism can drastically influence people's choices for the better. As a liberal person who often suffers from decision paralysis, I fully embrace this theory. If there is a choice that makes more sense, by either making me happier, healthier or wealthier, I am all for it being my default choice. The concept is not complex, but the wide range of examples that Cass and Sunstein use is impressive. They discuss everything from how placement of items in a cafeteria can decrease childhood obesity (which seems like a complete no-brainer to me) to whether states should change their organ donor registration from explicit consent to presumed consent, and many examples in between. I didn't find myself surprised by many of the examples, but I did find it an entertaining and interesting read. If you want to read about more examples you can check out the books' blog. That's it.

And since this is a vacation post that needs some lightening up, here is a picture of some beautiful Hawaiian oranges that I picked when trying to make limeade on Molokai today...easy to see why I confused them:

Maximizer suffering from Decision Paralysis

I recently finished a great read: The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less by Barry Schwartz (not related). It was one of those books where I found myself thinking "Whoa this is soo true" every 10 minutes. The idea is that while freedom and choice are critical principles to happiness in our society, an abundance of choice can lead to severe unhappiness. He argues that the more choice there is, the more time spent on making the choices, the more trade-offs, the more self-doubt, regret and ultimately dissatsifaction. He calls those of us who put the most pressure on ourselves to seek the best "Maximizers."

Maximizers spend a great deal of time and effort on the search, reading labels, checking out consumer magazines, and trying new products. Worse, after making a selection, they are nagged by he options they haven't had time to investigate. In the end, they are likely to get less satisfaction out of the exquisite choices they make.

I found this hitting home hard. Most recently I've been furnishing my apartment, and have been doing hours of online browsing over everything from hand towels to couches. The search continues for many things, and those that I have purchased, very few am I completely pleased with knowing that I could have probably found a more comfortable armchair or a rug that looked a bit better in the space.

Unfortunately maximization is built into my genes: the example that kept coming to mind in reading this book is the typical Schwartz family restaurant market survey. On every family vacation I can remember, we set out to look for a restaurant excited and hungry, and we walk around town, looking at menus and peering into restaurants wondering which one we should eat at. In a family of 4 maximizers, its very unlikely that we would ALL think that one place was the best, and we usually end up spending way too much time looking around, talking to each other about what we like, and at somebody's second (or 22nd) choice, fatigued and hungry. While the meal is usually pretty good, having spent so much effort investigating, its often hard to enjoy completely with at least one person at the table wondering whether we should have eaten somewhere else. (Maximizers also like to have their choices validated by others, and when sitting at a table of maximizers with slightly different taste bud preferences, this is always a challenge.)

Barry Schwartz leaves a couple of recommendations for the Schwartz family such as trying to impose constraint on choices and making decisions non-reversible (less regret). I think the most important lesson for a hard-wired maximizer like myself, though, was to just be self- aware and to recognize situations where I'm over thinking decisions enough to remove myself from them.

Just did a Google search on him and found he was at Google right before I started, can't believe I missed him! Check out his talk below and you can probably skip reading the book:

Strengths Finding

After reading Strengths Finder 2.0 and discovering my strengths (and telling everyone I meet to do the same, thanks to my Communicator and Developer strengths), I picked up the second book, Strengths Based Leadership. I found it worth a read, but certainly not as insightful as the first book.

StrengthsFinder 2.0 requires you take a quick online test and then gives you 5 strengths and a guide on how to capitalize on them by picking appropriate jobs, and telling you what kind of situations you excel in. Strengths Based Leadership goes further to outline how best to lead given your strengths. The basic idea that we all have natural strengths and we should focus on capitalizing them rather than trying to develop our weaknesses and become "well rounded," carries through both books. The second book makes the further point that "leadership" is often viewed as a strength and we all tend to have the idea in our heads about what specific strengths a good leader must posses. But this is framework is flawed-- anyone that tries to be a completely "well rounded" leader will fail. There are many kinds of effective leaders, and the best ones will focus on using their strengths rather than trying to be good at everything. I buy it and would like to do a better job of living by it. And, It's interesting since we're all brought up focusing on trying to become better at things we aren't naturally good at, rather than allowed more time to focus on the skills and strengths that come naturally.

I like these books a lot, and maybe more since I found after taking these tests that the insights tended to be true. Here's how they peg me, which seems to be pretty true.

1. Activator: People with a strong Activator theme can make things happen by turning thoughts into action. They are often impatient.
2. Developer: People strong in the Developer theme recognize and cultivate the potential in others. They spot the signs of each small improvement and derive satisfaction from these improvements.
3. Individualization: People strong in the Individualization theme are intrigued with the unique qualities of each person. They have a gift for figuring out how people who are different can work together productively.
   
4. Communication: People strong in the Communication theme generally find it easy to put their thoughts into words. They are good conversationalists and presenters (um, maybe not so much the latter).
5. Positivity: People strong in the Positivity theme have an enthusiasm that is contagious. They are upbeat and can get others excited about what they're going to do.
   

And with that, you should all go buy StrengthsFinder 2.0 make a list of all the things you can do to put your strengths to use, and live happily ever after! Stay Strong.

Talent, hard work or circumstances?

I woke up at midnight last night and couldn't go back sleep. Since sleeping is one of my best skills, this happens to me about once a year. Maybe less. After trying different pillows and relaxation exercises, I picked up "The Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell as it put me to sleep within several paragraphs on the flight. I had no such luck, but I am finding it pretty interesting.

"We pretend that success is exclusively a matter of individual merit. But there's nothing in any of the stories we've looked at so far to suggest things are that simple. These are stories, instead, about people who were given a special opportunity to work really hard and seized it, and who happened to come of age when extraordinary effort was rewarded by the rest of society. Their success was not just of their own making. It was a product of the world in which they grew up."

He's given many examples about this including the fact that over 40% of successful hockey players are born in Jan-March (the oldest cut off date), that many of the most successful tech giants were born in a two year time period (1954-1955), that there were a number of very lucky coincidences in Steve Jobs childhood that allowed him early exposure to technology, etc. Pretty interesting stuff. It doesn't go against the hard work brings success manifesto, but it does suggest that we're not 100% in control of our destinies. Some of it really is being in the right place at the right time.